It’s Wednesday! I had a little break from Wednesday quotes as I shimmied off on a much needed holiday to Marrakech! It was amazing, I’m definitely going back to fill up my suitcase with Moroccan goodies.
Here’s a massive thing I’ve been wanting to share for a while but didn’t know how to say it/ was very scared to share! …….I have anxiety.
I’ve thought a lot about sharing this, (particularly as I shared it with someone recently and their response was less than helpful) but the more I talk to people about it the more I realise how important it is to talk about and share mental health. I had no idea so many of my friends had been through similar things, think about how many people you know might be struggling and need someone to talk to! Anxiety is so easy to hide, I know I can manage to be an okay level of normal when meeting people for a short amount of time, yet they have no idea what shit I’m going through the rest of the day.
Anxiety comes in many different forms, My anxiety is a Generalized anxiety disorder, which for me, in a nutshell manifests its self in panic attacks (sometimes daily) and a whole load of insane worrying. It makes everything an effort, getting dressed, doing housework all become massive tasks. I avoid busy crowded places, particularly the tube. I avoid being at home when there are other people in. My whole body hurts as its so tense or is hypersensitive to everything. I can’t sleep.Small insignificant things become mountains, something as little as sending an email becomes a huge deal.
I didn’t share this to have sympathy, it’s the last thing I need or want. I just want you to take a second to look out for the people around you, drop them a text (they might not reply) but at least they will know you care. I know I sometimes feel very alone, even though I know I have lots of people around me, my anxiety brain thinks differently. I also want this to be an explanation (not an excuse), anxiety is what’s happening to me, I’ve not turned into an alien, it’s just that a horrible part of my brain is in control sometimes.
I’m having Behavioural therapy and counselling to help me get to a place where anxiety doesn’t dictate my life. One of the scariest things to do if you are feeling this way is to go to the doctors and get help, but do it as soon as you feel you are brave enough to go.
I’d also like to say thank you for reading, this blog is most days the reason I manage to get up and out of bed. Crafting is the only time my anxiety is on pause and I’m just happy, making away with no worry.
Anxiety is a bitch, there is no other way to describe it. So please give your friends, family and people you pass on the street some extra love as you really never know what they are dealing with. Please, please don’t tell them to ‘Be Happy’, It’s not that simple (I wish it was!) or to ‘Calm down’ It will only make them feel worse. Just be there for them.
Much love glitter kittens xx